Week Twenty-Seven: “If Trouble”

If trouble was money
I’d be the richest man in town
If trouble was whiskey
I’d be drunker than Cooter Brown
If trouble was rockets
I’d be the first man on Mars
If trouble was Eliot Ness
I’d’a closed all the bar

If trouble was a woman
She’d have her hair piled up high
If trouble was a woman
She’d have a gleam in her eye
If trouble was a woman
She’d have a touch to turn a man blue
If trouble was a woman
She’d look a lot like you

But trouble ain’t legal tender
You can’t gift it to a bride
You can’t suck on it like candy
Or take an outer space ride
Trouble don’t have hips or legs
Or stainless steel rivets
It ain’t got muscle of its own
only what you give it

So if trouble was money
It’d be Monopoly bills
If trouble was BB King
It’d be missing the thrills
If trouble was an atom bomb
It would be decomissioned
If trouble was a British spy
It’d be stuck without a mission

But trouble ain’t legal tender
You can’t gift it to a bride
You can’t suck on it like candy
Or take an outer space ride
Trouble don’t have hips or legs
Or stainless steel rivets
It ain’t got muscle of its own
only what you give it

If trouble was a woman
I’d ask her for a drink
If trouble was a woman
I’d care about what he thinks
If trouble was a woman
She’d look a lot like you
If trouble was a woman
I’d be in love with her too

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