Week Forty-Two: “I Fought Rats”

 

 

It was sundown in Little Italy
I had a diamond ring in my palm
She picked it up and put it on the ground
Just like she said she would

Then we heard something around the corner
loud and tearing up the calm
It was a gang of rats, drunk and laughing
and definitely up to no good

And that was when I knew
that in order to win her hand
I’d have to fight these rats
and beat these rats
tonight

The diamond was shining brightly
the rats were getting ever nearer
I had a switchblade in my pocket
and a pizza from up the street
I said “Come at my you litte bastards
I’ll slice up all you Mouseketeers
and then my bride-to-be will eat her pizza
to the screams of your defeat.”

And that was when I knew
that in order to win her hand
I’d have to fight these rats
and beat these rats
tonight

And so I leaped into the battle
and skewered every rat that came my way
I’m throwing punches, scratching and biting
It’s not pretty, to say the least
But for a moment I got distracted
one of them scurried down the storm drain
He had the ring, he had the pizza
I took on after that little beast

And in the sewer I couldn’t see much
But then I caught the gleam of the stones
sitting pretty on the finger
of an eight-foot-tall
foul smelling
son of a bitch of a
rat
That’s when I screwed up all my courage
and made like Indiana Jones
And when the morning came I was a fiance
so what do you think of that?

And that was when I knew
that in order to win her hand
I’d have to fight these rats
and beat these rats
And so I fought these rats
and beat these rats
Yeah I fought those rats
and beat those rats
last night

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