Year Two, Week Forty-Four: “The Double Deuce (The Devil’s Bus)”

Lyrics:

‘TWAS SUMMERTIME IN WRIGLEYVILLE
THE NIGHT WAS HOT AND DARK
I FOUND MYSELF A’WANDERING
AT ADDISON AND CLARK
MY PHONE WAS DEAD, I HAD NO CASH
HOW WAS I TO GET BACK
BUT THEN A FEARSOME VESSEL
CAME A’ROLLING THROUGH THE BLACK

THE DEUCE
THE DEUCE

MY HEART BEGAN TO  POUND
AND MY TEETH BEGAN TO CHATTER
I FELT A DROP OF PBR
ESCAPING FROM MY BLADDER
I SHOULD HAVE RUN AWAY, MY BOYS
AND SLEPT AT WRIGLEY FIELD
INSTEAD I RODE THE DOUBLE DEUCE
MY FATE FOREVER SEALED

THE DEUCE
THE DEUCE

THE DOUBLE DEUCE
THE DEVIL’S BUS
WILL BE THE DEATH
OF ALL OF US
OH MOTHERS, TELL YOUR KIDS
TO RUN AND HIDE
THE DOUBLE DEUCE
THAT FILTHY HEARSE
YOU’LL GET HEP-C
OR MAYBE WORSE
YOUR LIFE’S IN YOUR HANDS
WHEN YOU RIDE

THE DEUCE
THE DEUCE

THE DRIVER WAS A SEWER RAT
WHOSE LICENSE WAS A FAKE
HE SAID “SIT DOWN, SO HELP ME GOD
I’LL DRIVE INTO THE LAKE!”
THE PASSENGERS WERE SCOUNDRELS
THIEVES AND RAPISTS, ONE AND ALL
HALF OF THEM WERE CUBS FANS
AND SOME WENT TO DEPAUL

THE DEUCE
THE DEUCE

THE RIDE WAS FRIGHTFUL WILD
LIKE A TRAIN WRECK ON SIX WHEELS
I SAW THE GHOST OF DALEY
IN THE BACKSEAT CUTTING DEALS
THE DRIVER LAUGHED AND SAID
“LOOK HERE, YOU MOTHERFUCKING KNAVES!
THE MAP, IT MAY SAY HOWARD–
BUT YOUR LAST STOP IS THE GRAVE”

THE DEUCE
THE DEUCE

THE DOUBLE DEUCE
THE DEVIL’S BUS
WILL BE THE DEATH
OF ALL OF US
OH MOTHERS, TELL YOUR KIDS
TO RUN AND HIDE
THE DOUBLE DEUCE
THAT NASTY TRIP
IT SMELLS LIKE
SEVEN-LAYER DIP
YOUR LIFE’S IN YOUR HANDS
WHEN YOU RIDE

THE DEUCE
THE DEUCE

MY FRIENDS, YOU MUST BELIEVE ME
THIS WILD TALE IS TRUE
I NEVER MADE IT BACK FROM
THE ROUTE NAMED TWENTY-TWO
AND IF YOU MIGHT BE WONDERING
WHAT DID YOU HEAR THIS FOR
IT MIGHT BE THAT THE DOUBLE-DEUCE
IS RIGHT OUTSIDE THIS DOOR

THE DEUCE
THE DEUCE

THE DOUBLE DEUCE
THE DEVIL’S BUS
WILL BE THE DEATH
OF ALL OF US
OH MOTHERS, TELL YOUR KIDS
TO RUN AND HIDE
THE DOUBLE DEUCE
HAS LEFT ME SCARRED
IT WOULDN’T TAKE
MY VENTRA CARD
YOUR LIFE’S IN YOUR HANDS
WHEN YOU RIDE

THE DEUCE

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